


Our Little Secret

by XxAllenWalkerxX



Category: To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
Genre: F/M, M/M, Random story, i always liked to think Jem was a gay boi, just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 05:25:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5527679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxAllenWalkerxX/pseuds/XxAllenWalkerxX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most girls with brothers have to deal with arguments, superiority and who gets the bathroom first in the morning. I, however, have to deal with mine being gay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Most girls with brothers have to deal with arguments, superiority and who gets the bathroom first in the morning. I, however, have to deal with mine being gay. It all started a couple years after the Ewell Incident in which Jem had broken his arm. Life went on smoothly, we matured, both emotionally and physically. I thought that maybe, just maybe, it was just the hormones acting up. Jem thought so, too. It was after Cecil Jacobs' pool party(why we even went, don't ask ..). We were surprised to even be invited and we right away decided that we weren't going to attend but with some coaxing from Dill, who had also somehow gotten invited, we decided to go. Jem was already uncomfortable and kept complaining about not bringing a shirt. Adults said all our fears would go away when we grew up but for us, for Jem anyway, they got worse and brought something worse with them. Insecurities. Anyways, when Cecil came from his house all decked out in swim gear, that's when Jem said everything went spiraling out of control. I won't go into details of what all he said but Cecil made him realize. He was gay.

The first couple weeks after the realization Dill and I both attempted to set Jem up with the cutest ladies we could find that were interested. He would always say they were cute and he'd love to see them again. Dill and I realized it was a lie when he said it about every girl we set him up with. We looked for cures, solutions, anything! Then Jem finally accepted the truth. He liked men and there was nothing he could do about it. I thought it was weird and so did Dill but he was my brother and I'd always love him. Dill was a little more wary and always suspected Jem had feelings for him, which Jem always denied. It almost seemed like Dill Harris wanted Jem to like him.

One big fear for Jem was Atticus or anyone finding out about his preference. We all promised we'd never tell and I meant it. I knew how gays were treated at this time and let me tell you, it ain't good. Though our father was a nice and understanding man, who knew what he would think if he found out? So we crossed our hearts and hoped to die that we'd never tell Jem's little secret.

It was almost nice having someone to talk about boys with. I began to realize that Jem was still the same Jem I always knew just with different tastes in people when it came to relationships. I always wondered to myself if it was torture to have a crush on some guy only to remember you'll never have a chance with them. Not because you're ugly, not because you're mean, not because you have a downright terrible personality but because you're a guy. For the longest time it was always nudges and winks when we or he saw a handsome fellow heading down the road. Until Walter Cunningham came around.


	2. Chapter 2

Maycomb may be small but it sure didn't have a shortage of young, handsome boys. Well, maybe not handsome, but decent boys. With that being said I constantly asked Jem why he liked Walter. Jem always said one of the two things: "It ain't none of your business!" Or, "I dunno! I just do, okay?"

None of those answers satisfied me. I stopped bothering him though because he started to isolate himself a lot like he did when our mother died. Atticus began to take notice of his behavior and that made it worse. One night, sitting on the porch, Jem had grabbed my shoulders and looked me dead in the eye. "Jean Louise Finch, you have to promise me something and I mean REALLY promise me." 

"Okay." I tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he just held me tighter. Looking into his eyes I saw how distressed and scared he looked. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Never, ever tell our daddy about my.. my problem. Me likin' boys. Understand?" I was quiet for a moment. I didn't quite understand why we couldn't tell daddy. Yeah, it was weird he liked boys but it's Atticus. Aren't we supposed to tell him everything?

He shook me again and this time I noticed he was trembling. "Do you understand?" He repeated, more desperately this time. I nodded quickly and he seemed to calm down instantly. "Good.." Jem mutters quietly then he turned away from me, face buried in his hands. The next morning Walter's here. He had a bag full of, what? Hickory nuts? Probably. His daddy had another entailment. (Now, I don't know what Walter actually looks like since the film is black and white and I don't remember a description in the book. I'm just going to make it up. ;) He was in need of a trim, his blonde bangs dusting over his eyes as he ran his fingers through them, pushing the strands of hair back. "Here's, uh, what my daddy owes ya." He had said to me, voice still quiet and calm as ever. I gave a small nod, a smirk creeping across my face. Just as the boy turned away, I grabbed his shoulder.

"Wait a second, Walter. I believe my brother Jem needed to speak with ya. Somethin' about, um.. taking you up to the old pond. Yeah!" Walter's face twisted in confusion but he soon smiled, brightly I might even say. "Jem!" I yelled over my shoulder, that smirk still plastered on my face. Moments later, my brother came dashing up behind me almost skidding to a stop when he saw Walter. I could just feel Jem getting all tense and flustered. Walter was just standing there, scratching the back of his neck. I could feel the awkwardness radiating off of them and I couldn't take it so I quickly intervened. 

"So Jem, are you ready to take Walter out to the pond or what?" I said, jabbing my brother in the ribs. "Wh-what ..?" Jem gave me a long, stern look before noticing that Walter was staring. He looked almost sad. Jem blinked and put on a smile. "Right! About that that pond, I was just gettin' ready. Wanna come in and sit?" When Walter nodded, we both stepped aside to let him in. Walter say at the kitchen table across from me while frantically trying to get ready. For the time being I thought I would do some interrogating. "So Mr. Cunningham, how have ya been?" I asked, resting my chin on my palm.

"'m good." Mumbled Walter, who fidgeted in his seat but kept that same calm smile on his face. Nodding slowly, I leaned forward slightly. I wanted to cut right to the chase. "You seeing any girls?"

"N-no! No, I'm not. Heh." He answered to quickly. I duly noted that.

"Really? Why not?"

"'Cause I, um.." Walter was saved from answering by Jem who came running into the kitchen. He was wearing a plaid button up shirt and his overalls. It looked like he had even combed his hair. I rolled my eyes. Walter's eyes seemed to light up, moving to stand up. "Ready to go?" Jem had asked, this time he was smiling genuinely. When Walter nodded he lead him through the threshold and out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Jem took Walter to the old pond, much to the delight of the blonde. Yet it wasn't a very romantic place, dozens of mosquitos buzzing over the water's surface and the smell of rotting dead fish in the air. Jem wasn't nose blind but Walter hardly noticed the stench. "Jem," The boy turned to Jem with his hands clasped together, a big grin upon his face. "Thank you. For taking me up here. It was real kind of you." Jem felt weak in the knees but managed to return the smile and to mumble a brief 'uh-huh'.

"The.. smell don't bother you none, Walter?" Jem asked the blonde as he walked to the water's edge. Walter bent down and scanned the marsh, hands resting on his knees. The brunette shoved his hands in the pockets of his overalls, walking over to join Walter at the pond's bank. "Oh, no, Jem. It don't bother me. Heh, to be honest I didn't even notice a smell." That made Jem chuckle. Then then was silence. Walter was still staring to the water and Jem was just about to ask why when the blonde leaped forward. The brunette watched as Walter scrabbled around in the mud, trying to grab something. "What the.." Jem started to say, then the younger stood up holding something. There, in his muddy palms, was a toad.

"Nice one, Walter." Jem looked closely at it then snorted with laughter. Rolling up his shirt sleeves, he knelt down to find one for himself. Walter put the amphibian in his pocket and plopped down beside the brunette. "It helps if you don't move too much." Walter advised, nudging his potential lover. Jem huffed as a small Frog slipped between his fingers. "I've caught frogs before," retorted Jem, rubbing dirt onto his trousers. "With Scout." As soon as he said that, Jem spotted another creature and went to grab it. Except it wasn't a toad at all. It was a turtle, the kind that bites. And boy, did it bite. I doing my homework at the table when the two muddy boys trudged into the kitchen. Jem rushed to the bathroom with a bloody hand and Walter stood in the doorway like a lost puppy. Turning around in my seat to face him, I asked, "You had fun?"

Walter nodded. "Very much so, yes."

I turned back around in my seat, grinning softly to myself. The blonde boy walked over to my side hastily, looking like a nervous wreck. "Hey Scout, um.. I've got to head home. Let me know if Jem's okay." By time I could even answer, the boy was already heading out the door. So I just went back to my homework. 

Later on that night while I was curled up in bed, Jem came in my room and plopped down on the edge of the mattress. I asked him why he was there and he said he was sick. "How are you sick, Jem?" 

"I'm sick 'cause.. I think I really love him, Scout."

I rolled my eyes. "How do you know you're /in love/?"

"I felt like I was going to hurl right there when he made eye contact with me this morning, Scout. There's something the matter with me." I've never seen such a despairing look on my brother's face when he gazed at me. I feigned a little pout and petted his head like a stray cat. Oh, brother of mine.." I began, in a mockingly sweet tone. "You've got it bad."

The next morning, really early in the morning I might add, Cecil Jacobs shows up at our house.


	4. Chapter 4

"Well if it ain't Cecil 'Black Hen' Jacobs." I drawled, a grin plastered on my face. Though I enjoyed the way his face contorted into a look of disgust, I was curious as to why he was here. Nobody invited him, who would?

"Save it, hambone." Now that made me wince. Darn that school play. "Where's Jem?" My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Jem? What do you need him for?" I asked. Don't tell me he's into boys, too. Not that it would be a problem but if my brother is going to date boys, he'd better not settle down with dirty old Cecil. Cecil Jacobs was a piece of work but a very handsome one (also making my own description for him). Wavy brown locks he kept concealed under a hat and piercing green eyes. Not to mention this mole right below his left eye. If he wasn't such an ass, I'd probably like him myself.

Jem came running downstairs a moment later, mumbling about breakfast. As soon as his eyes hit Cecil's, the color drained from his face. I kept quiet. "Cecil? What are you doing at my house at the crack of dawn?" Jem's lips pursed together, hands on his hips as if he were challenging the other boy. Cecil only grinned. "Come on outside for a second and I'll show ya." With that the brunette turned around and exited the house, letting the screen door shut behind him. I looked at Jem. "Well?" I asked quietly, as if Cecil could hear us now. "Are you really going to follow him?" Jem shrugged and walked to the door. "Guess so," He murmured in the same tone of voice. "Just to see what he wants."

When Jem left, I made it my duty to be nosy and peer out of the screen. Unfortunately the two boys disappeared behind the house out of sight. Once out of eye's view, Cecil slammed Jem against the side of the house, hands placed on either side of the boy's head. "So Finch, a little bird told me you had special tastes." Cecil said in a cool tone, his eyes never leaving Jem's. The boy gulped, trying to avoid Cecil's gaze. "Well.. what kind of taste did the bird say?" Jem tried to hide the fear he felt but it was taking over. If this had been any old fight, it would've been no problem for Jem. Except, it wasn't any old fight. Cecil may possible know the secret. But how?

"Don't play dumb, Jem. I know you like poor old Walter Cunningham." Jem felt sick. How did he find out? Who told? Cecil sensed his fear. "But, it's okay. You know why? Because you're going to do me a favor."  
"Black mail?" Jem spat, rolling his eyes. "How original."  
Cecil narrowed his eyes, leaning in closer to the brunette. "Want me to tell everyone in Maycomb that you like it from behind?"  
Jem was quiet for a moment, then shook his head. Cecil grinned.

"Now look, here's what you're going to do," Cecil stepped back and pointed a little ways across the road. "Go to that store and get me some candy." Candy, seriously? All this build up for candy? "Easy. I can go right now." Jem said, but as he prepared to leave Cecil grabbed his arm. "You can't buy it. You have to steal."

Jem groaned as he glanced over at the grinning Cecil. How can something so evil be so beautiful at the same time. "Fine but you have to keep your mouth shut, ya hear?" Jem warned.

"Your little secret's safe with me." Cecil purred.

**Author's Note:**

> At first I was nervous to write this story because I felt like it would get hate and shit but then I saw people making incest stories for Jem and Scout??? So I guess I felt better seeing as if people like incest then I'm sure they won't mind some random, plot-less gayness. So, enjoy. This was just an introduction really and there will be more chapters if God is willing to give me the strength and let me keep my muse.


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